• Sara

Who Will Win The Battle In My Head?

Updated: Jul 4, 2019


This picture was taken in my beautiful hometown of Amman

I want to write; I need to write. I need to be here with myself and in myself. In my soul, with my deepest desires, and with my strongest pains.


Where am I? and why am I here? A feeling of deep loneliness fills my vessel. Oh, how I love this vessel, the vessel of the soul. So pure and accepting.


A place where the #light meets the darkness in a dance for survival, for power. But again, what is darkness? Isn’t it the absence of light?


Which means that I and only I have the choice to let the darkness overcome the light. To choose to compromise the light and bring in the darkness.

A battle of two greats, the great light of #life, of #love and of #dreaming with the great darkness of loneliness, despair and defeat.


I choose the light, I choose it today, I will choose it tomorrow and I will choose it every single day. The light is who I am, the light is where I come from.

So why I am crying? What is it that I’m feeling? Is it the relief of surrender, the relief of having faith that my light will prevail? Or is it the sadness of being where I am now?


Writing this it came to me that it is the relief of surrender and of awareness.


The #darkness has a manipulative nature, it pushes #dreams to a far end and makes what sounded exciting yesterday be anything but that today. The flavor of the now fades and meaning ceases to exist.


But wait, says the light. What are you talking about here? Even in the darkest of moments I am always here. Did you not know that? I am there at every corner, I am there in every baby’s laugh, in every kiss, in every cool breeze. I am there in every prayer and in every moment of darkness.


I am the light; I am your light and I am never not there.


In the battle of light and darkness the fight disappears and a serene sense of being takes over. We are both one, we are both there to be and we will always be there.


To accept your light is to accept the darkness right there with it.

I open the door and let both of them in and out into my life, I accept the darkness of my light and the light of my darkness.


The battle which was in my own mind now vanishes into the nothingness it already was. The battle was a figment of an imaginary thought, a thought of being separate, being lonely and being with the mind and living from the mind.


We are what we choose to be and become. I choose acceptance, I choose love, I choose the light. - Sara

Peace & Love,

Sara

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